


Trauma

by bjsforgordan



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale is Catholic, Aziraphale is an OB/GYN, Crowley and Aziraphale are dramatic bitches, Crowley is a trauma surgeon, Crowley is atheist, Gratuitous flashbacks, M/M, Rating will go up in later chapters, Slow Burn, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), hospital drama will ensue, medical AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-20 15:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21284291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjsforgordan/pseuds/bjsforgordan
Summary: The ineffable husbands medical drama AU that nobody asked for.Our favorite idiots fall in love in medical school but are kept apart for many reasons: Anthony’s past, Ezra’s doubts, their mutual devotion to medicine and their patients, just to name a few. But after 10 years of not speaking, not hearing from each other at all, what would happen if they found each other again?Our story does take place in the United States because I’m from the US and medicine/medical education are SO DIFFERENT in the UK. They say write what you know, and I’m all about it. Sorry, not sorry?Disclaimer: None of the hospitals that I mention are real. None of the cases that I mention are real. Obviously, any similarities to any real hospitals or real cases are not intended. This is a work of fiction. Cool, thanks.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 36





	1. First Day

**Author's Note:**

> My many thanks to my lovely beta and best friend Caitlin.
> 
> -
> 
> I am in my last year of medical school, so I try to write with good medical accuracy even in fic. If it's too much or there are things you didn't understand or want clarification on, please don't hesitate to drop a comment. :)

Dr. Anthony J. Crowley was anything but nervous. A bit apprehensive, sure. Curious about his new co-workers, absolutely. But never nervous. He had no reason to be. His record was only slightly muddied despite the brutal and often devastating field he had found himself in. Patients that were lucky enough to have him as their doctor often found themselves alive simply because Dr. Crowley willed it so. He did not make stupid mistakes, and he did not tolerate mediocrity. Whatever would be thrown at him here, he could take it. Because he was a trauma surgeon. He considered himself the toughest doctor in the hospital, no matter what day it was or which hospital he was employed with. In fact, the reason that he had left Tadfield Regional Medical Center after 5 years of being relatively happy there was a lack of excitement. He was bored. 

He never expected to be here.

The whole reason he had gone to medical school in the first place was to help children. Sure, he had helped on a few peds cases here or there if a kid came in and needed a trauma evaluation. But that wasn’t what he had dreamed about. He’d wanted to be someone who could be a positive role model for kids who had grown up like he did, with no one around to possibly look up to. And then, in his third year of medical school, he found surgery.

_ “Ezra?” he’d said one Monday night out of the blue, while they were sharing Chinese take-out and pouring over notes together. It was right before their surgery shelf exam; their first big clinical exam of med school. “Yes, my dear?” Ezra’s voice was music to Anthony’s ears. The only sound he ever needed to hear. “I… I don’t think I want to be a pediatrician anymore,” he said, as golden eyes met deep ocean blue, “I think I want to do pediatric surgery.” Ezra’s smile grew wide and shone like the sun. “Well, then it’s settled. You’ve just found your calling.” _

“Uh, doctor, hello?” Dr. Crowley didn’t seem to hear the scrub technician. “Is he nervous or something?” The nurse anesthetist whispered to the circulator. That seemed to snap Dr. Crowley out of his Ezra-induced flashback. “I’m not nervous, I don’t get nervous!” he snipped to his staff, ready to get his first operation at a new hospital underway. “Now let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Knife! No, not the 10 blade, I specifically asked for an 11 blade!” Fortunately, he wasn’t on trauma call today, and this was a run of the mill laparoscopic inguinal hernia repair. Easy enough. What wasn’t easy and what Dr. Crowley wasn’t looking forward to was having a very eager medical student, a third year named Adam Young, in his operating room asking him questions. He would have to get used to that. 

His staff were in awe of him as he worked, lithe hands quick as lightning but the surest they’d ever seen. They watched as he completed his work, finishing with a smile. “Go ahead and close, Adam,” he said to the eager medical student. “Really?” came the reply, Adam’s eyes alight. “Yeah, just throw your subcuticular sutures in each small incision, should do the trick nicely. Besides, it looks like you have a great team on your side in case you really mess it up,” he winked at the young man. He wasn’t sure why he was in a good mood all of a sudden, though perhaps the questions he was able to answer for young Adam had perked him up more than he’d anticipated. 

As he broke scrub for the first time in a new hospital, Dr. Crowley couldn’t help but to feel proud of himself. He smiled under his mask and announced to the staff of operating room 2, “Oh, and next time, I wouldn’t mind a little music while we work, huh? Queen’s Greatest Hits, anyone?” He was careful to include the ‘we’ in that statement. Though they all wore masks, he saw each one of them smile, some even with genuine warmth. “Won’t let you down boss,” the circulator smirked and saluted as Dr. Crowley grinned back, exiting the operating room. During his residency training he had done his fair share to alienate the nursing staff, and he was not about to repeat his past mistakes. Unfortunately for Dr. Crowley, his past had a way of haunting him; the spectre usually taking the form of a beautiful, fair-haired boy. His memory was suddenly aflame with the memory of Ezra’s face, glowing as if lit from within. The sudden searing image made Anthony want to cry out. He slowly gathered his wits, realizing it was probably about time to meet his new boss downstairs in the Emergency Department. Stealing a quick glance at the clock down the hall, Dr. Crowley couldn’t help but notice a man with golden curls hidden under his surgical cap as he disappeared around the corner. 

***

Dr. Ezra Fell hummed to himself, as he did every morning, while he got ready for work. He simply adored his career as an OB/GYN, and he had adored it even more for the past 3 years now that he had the opportunity to work with medical students, residents, and even fellows! It was truly sublime. Though he must admit, operating was not his forte. He did well enough, never had any severe consequences, and was always well-versed on the latest operating techniques. He was proud to say that he was a blend of the old school and the new when it came to the practice of obstetrics and gynecology. What he loved about the operating room, and about State University Teaching Hospital was just that: the teaching of it all. He smiled softly to himself as he remembered that he would be working with his favorite resident this morning. His smile was reflected back in the locker room mirror as he played at his headband, hoping to catch each white-gold curl within the soft blue mesh of his surgical cap.

This Monday, this day in the OR, seemed different than others somehow. Slowly, he made the Sign of the Cross as his mouth fell agape. He had just happened to glance at the surgical board for the morning. The only information that he really needed to know was which operating room he was scheduled in at 0700. The thing he needed to know least of all in the entire universe was that his best friend throughout his undergraduate and medical school years, whom he hadn’t spoken a word to in 10 years, was operating in the room right next to his. As Dr. Fell closed his eyes he prayed for something he had never prayed for before. He prayed for a complication. 

“ _ Oh God, please let one of us have something go wrong today. I simply cannot face him. Not here, not now!”  _ His thoughts were racing, desperate, until he was brought back to Earth by a kind hand on his shoulder. “Dr. Fell, is everything alright?” came the calm voice of his most trusted resident, Dr. Device. Anathema, as she preferred everyone call her, was in her final year of training as an OB/GYN and applying to gynecological oncology fellowship programs. Ezra knew she would excel at her chosen career, and he had been her mentor from day one of her residency training. He secretly hoped she would be able to remain nearby for her training. “Oh, yes, yes dear, I’m so sorry, it’s just, we haven’t been in room 3 for quite a while now, have we?” Anathema’s only reply was simply to quirk an eyebrow. She was fairly certain they had performed an ovarian cyst removal in that same operating room last week, but she had a feeling something else was going on. Something much deeper. “Okay Dr. Fell, no problem, I’ll make sure the crew has everything just the way you like it,” she replied as cheerfully as possible while he continued to stare up at the screen. As if sheer will were enough to make that name change to any other name at all. 

Dr. Fell let Dr. Device take the lead on this case, a run of the mill hysterectomy. He had performed plenty of them, she needed the experience, and honestly, his mind was still reeling. Had Anthony really started working here? Or were there many other ‘AJ Crowley, MD’s running around, doing work as surgeons? He figured not, though when last they spoke Anthony still had his heart set on pediatrics. Which was odd, considering the case he was slated for was a 59-year-old patient. Ezra tried to push it from his mind as he assisted Anathema but memories came back to him, as if they were bits of a dream.  _ The warmth of a steady hand in his own, trembling. The fleeting union of lips. Confessions made in a darkened room. Feeling so, completely loved.  _ “No!” he said aloud, suddenly. Anathema looked up at him, just about to cut the uterus free. “Is everything okay Dr. Fell?” she asked in a rush, tears almost apparent in her eyes. She was an excellent surgeon, of course everything was okay. “Yes, I’m so sorry my dear, I seem to have forgotten myself,” was the only explanation he could think of. 

As they scrubbed out together, Anathema asked him again, “are you sure everything is okay Dr. Fell? You’ve been acting off since you saw the board this morning.” Dr. Fell’s only reply was to sigh heavily. He had hidden the truth long enough. He trusted Anathema, loved her like a sister, almost. She deserved the truth. “Let’s get a coffee, my dear,” he said with a weary smile, “we have some time before our next case. And there is so much that I need to tell you.”


	2. We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's taken me so long to update. Such is life as a med student. ‾\\_(ツ)_/‾
> 
> Please enjoy!

Ezra Fell was picky about his coffee selections. He was a doctor after all, and a surgeon at that; he needed coffee. But that didn’t mean he had to be an animal, did it? Today, apparently none of his carefully moderated selections mattered to him. With his mediocre machine-brewed coffee (with room temperature concentrated “French” Vanilla creamer, 2 pumps) in hand, he quickly sought out his most trusted confidant, Dr. Anathema Device. “Anathema dear, it is of the utmost importance that whatever I may tell you today about myself and Dr. AJ Crowley is kept to yourself. That includes your classmates. I trust you alone. Do you understand?” he whispered harshly in the surgeon’s lounge, which was probably his least favorite place in the hospital. Dr. Device, who had spent the past four years getting to know the resident physicians in her class, quickly shuffled back on her memories of her classmates. Unsurprisingly, her reply was firm, “I swear Dr. Fell, not a soul will know anything you do not wish them to.” “Well my dear, Dr. Crowley and I, ah, became friends in undergrad, before we were accepted into medical school…”

_ There was a feeling today that Ezra simply could not shake. Maybe it was the autumn breeze, chilling him to the bone as he walked across campus in just his cardigan; maybe it was the longing feeling in his chest that he was ignoring until he was able to share his news. Good news that he wanted to burrow deep into and never leave, like a woodland creature preparing for hibernation. He couldn’t help it. He smiled as he pulled out his cell phone, the one that Anthony had talked him into purchasing. “This had better be quick, I’m celebrating,” came the voice on the other end of the line. “Hi Anthony,” was the only thing he could think to say, his voice breathless. Almost like he could cry. On the other end of the line came a pause, followed by something incomprehensible. Then finally, “Star’s Bar. 10 minutes. Meet me there.” Then, nothing. Though it was barely 4 PM, Ezra decided to comply. After all, it was either that or study. And after the news he had just received, there was simply no chance that he was going to study today. _

“Dr. Fell! I knew you had a bad streak in you!” Anathema exclaimed, delighted, “Meeting a handsome man at the bar, in the middle of the day? It’s practically a scandal” Her face grinned up at him devilishly as he calmly sipped his (quite truthfully) disgusting coffee and frowned. “I wish I were that exciting dear, but he was honestly just a close friend of mine. We had a terrible falling out. Which I might be able to explain if you would allow me to do so without interrupting, since we only have half an hour before our next case!” Anathema simply closed her eyes and gestured with her hand as if to say: continue. 

_ Anthony had tucked himself into a corner table. He was dressed in his usual: head to toe black with sunglasses indoors (Ray Bans today, black matte frames with blackout lenses). From certain angles he would appear to blend into and become one with the wall. Ezra took in his form before approaching him, suddenly gripped by excitement, a smile forming on his lips as he approached Anthony. “So what’s got you so excited then, hmm?” he asked as Ezra approached. “You’re the first person I could think to call. I haven’t even told my parents yet. I got in Anthony; I’m going to medical school,” Ezra gushed. He was grinning wildly now, couldn’t help himself. Before he realized what was happening, Ezra found himself wrapped in a pleasantly suffocating hug. A small hum left his throat as he took in Anthony’s smell, which at that moment was primarily whiskey but with small notes of orange and just a touch of campfire. “I’m so happy for you Ezra, you’re going to be an amazing physician,” Anthony said, without disturbing their embrace. Ezra could feel the vibrations of Anthony’s voice deep in his chest, and his body reacted of its own volition, his heart beating faster, blood beginning to move southward... He was going to need a drink. _

“You seem pretty fond of him for Dr. Crowley to just be a friend of yours from undergrad,” Anathema challenged, arms crossed as she gazed at Ezra across the table. “You sure there isn’t more to the story? Were you two an item or something?” At that precise moment, Ezra blushed the deepest shade of scarlet that Anathema had ever seen. Exactly one second later, while she was raising her arm in the air, smug gesticulation prepared, both of their pagers sounded. The operating room was ready. “We are so, so not done with this Dr. Fell,” Anathema simply stated as they each dumped the remainder of their coffee and headed back to the OR. 

_ *** _

_ “So when I called, you said that you were celebrating, what’s the occasion?” Ezra inquired as he sipped his gin and tonic. “Oh, I, uh, also got in. Med school. County medical actually, my top pick so yeah, pretty exci-” “Why didn’t you say anything?!” Ezra interrupted, genuinely horrified that Anthony hadn’t spoken up sooner. “That’s such wonderful news dear, I demand a celebratory dinner. Come on, let’s go. Sushi is on me!” _

***

“Mmm, yeah, it’s Crowley, I was paged,” Dr. Crowley answered into his hospital-issued phone. “Hello Dr. Crowley, you’re needed on an OB/GYN consultation, apparently there’s evidence of deep tissue infection on a c-section scar. They’re already operating in room 3, just get there as soon as you can,” came the hospital operator’s smooth response. “Perfect, I’m on my way,” Crowley replied, smile lighting his sharp features. “What happened?” came a small voice in the corner. Shit. He’d forgotten about Adam. “You didn’t hear me say this, but we get to blow off admin for a while. Duty calls; we’ve been paged!” he replied excitedly. Maybe he would like having a med student after all. He practically launched himself off the armchair and out of the surgeon’s lounge, Adam Young in his wake as he strode off to OR 3.

“Hey Adam, can you just check to make sure they have everything I’ll need before I head in, thanks so much,” Dr. Crowley said to his student as he prepared to enter the operating room. He found himself just the slightest bit apprehensive. Being the primary surgeon was one thing, but being a consultant was a totally different situation altogether, and he hadn’t even met any of the OB/GYNs yet. He just needed a moment to take a deep breath. As he did, he pictured Ezra, it never failed. This reactionary vision was his worst holdout from his most profound relationship, but years of therapy and visits to psychiatrists hadn’t cured him of it, so he had tried to embrace it. He smiled his most radiant grin as he entered the OR, Ezra’s smile still dancing in his head. Or was it all in his head?

“Fuck. Shit. What?” 

That was all the usually so eloquent AJ Crowley had been able to express as he walked into OR 3 that Monday morning and the eyes of his familiar ghost merged with the eyes of the lead surgeon in the room. “Ah. Yes. Dr. Crowley. Thank you for coming. I’m not sure what’s going on in this incision and I need a general surgeon’s opinion. Though I see you’ll need to re-scrub since you’ve touched your face,” came Dr. Fell’s calm reply. “WHAT? Ezra what the fu-,” Crowley had started to say before being interrupted, “Perhaps the operating room is not the best place to discuss this, can we please talk later?” Though Ezra’s voice was calm, his eyes were pleading with Anthony. “Yeah, fine. Alright. Gotta re-scrub,” Dr. Crowley half-mumbled before exiting the OR. 

“Dear, I’m so sorry,” Dr. Fell had whirled around to where Dr. Device was standing, smirking. “I had no idea he was on call today, and I really do need a general surgeon’s input on this case!” he defended himself, feeling Anathema’s gaze grow more judgemental by the moment. “I won’t say anything Dr. Fell… except, you didn’t tell me he was so hot!” she mimed fanning herself with a surgical sponge. Ezra felt his face heat to its absolute maximum for the second time that day while he replied, “Yes, I suppose I could see why so many women were interested, though it’s not as if they would get very far with him,” Ezra made a point to say loud enough so that everyone could hear him. He reached a new maximum flush as he realized the door to the OR had been open as he’d made his last remark. 

“Well thanks for outing me angel, not that it would have been hard,” Dr. Crowley said stiffly as he snapped on his latex gloves, familiarity rolling off his tongue without thinking. He cursed himself for saying it the second it came out and swore it wouldn’t happen again. “Now how can I be of service to you?”

The case went smoothly enough, both doctors were professionals after all. After the wound was opened and explored, Dr. Crowley found no evidence of any life-threatening infection and turned the case back over to Dr. Fell. As Anthony’s hand reached for the door of the operating room, he heard Ezra cry out, “Wait,” his voice so small and desperate, “have dinner with me?” Anthony simply sighed before replying, he couldn’t do this, he wouldn’t make it if he had to go through this again. “I’m on call, it’ll have to be cafeteria or delivery.” “I could get us some take out?” Ezra offered, eyes pleading. “Fine. Page me,” came Crowley’s cold reply. He couldn’t believe he had agreed to even a meal together, he almost started to say something to cancel, that he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t be friends. But he after this long he couldn’t get this man’s face out of his head. He had to do something. He supposed dinner would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://bjsforgordan.tumblr.com/) if you so desire. Be warned, it's mostly Good Omens and garbage. But hey, it's my garbage.


	3. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, your comments are incredible. Seriously, you have no idea how meaningful it is to me to get some positive feedback right now. 
> 
> Secondly, in the -cringe- 13 days since I’ve updated I’ve had two job interviews (which required two drives across the state) and started a new rotation. 
> 
> I do have an outline, but I’m very loosely following it. It’s more fun to go with the flow. :) And nothing is pre-written. 
> 
> So again, I love you all so much for how patient you are!

_ Anthony couldn’t believe how easily they had fallen back into their old habits. The months that came and went after their initial celebratory dinner could have been days, as far as he could tell.  _

_ Tonight they’d shared a bottle of wine and a sushi combo at their favorite restaurant, just as they had so many times before.  _

_ But there was something different about this time. They both felt like different people, more mature somehow after knowing where their futures were heading. And Ezra was looking at him differently. Something was making him feel warm inside, and it wasn’t the alcohol. The atmosphere around them seemed to change as if each molecule of oxygen and nitrogen had turned into something more pleasant. It was all freaking him out; he had to move. “Can I walk you home?” he offered to Ezra, who nodded in reply. The short walk back to Ezra’s apartment was torture, his mind absolutely reeling. Should he try to take Ezra’s hand? What would the blond think, how would he respond? Had he been flirting tonight or had Anthony’s desperate mind been playing tricks on him? “Well, ah, this is me,” came a small voice. So he had been quiet the whole time, excellent job Anthony, way to be awkward.  _

_ This night had done him in. He was going to do it. He had to say it. Oh god, he was going to say it. “Ezra, I think I-” but he was interrupted as Ezra brought their lips together in a soft initial union. Anthony moaned into him softly as they melted together. Both smiled into the kiss but Anthony swiftly took the lead, brushing his tongue gently to Ezra’s lips. Ezra pulled away and smiled, placing a chaste kiss to Anthony’s lips as if to say ‘not out here’. He worked his keys from his pocket; he wanted to let them in. He had no idea what had been running through Anthony’s mind as he uttered aloud, “Ezra, I’m in love with you.”  _

_ Ezra dropped his keys. Where a smile had just been, a tremble appeared. Fear was evident in his eyes. “Anthony… I, you know I,” he looked down, “I can’t.” Tears had started to form, making his irises appear bluer somehow in the faded amber streetlight. Anthony cursed himself for loving those eyes even in such melancholy.  _

_ There he stood in the doorway, stupid heart crushed by such a simple phrase. The only thing he could even think to reply: “Well, call me when you figure it out, I guess.” Then he turned on his heel and walked away, what he thought would be forever. _

_ *** _

“Come on, Adam, we’ve got a very important meeting with administration!” Dr. Crowley said very loudly as they practically ran out of the surgical wing. Adam wasn’t buying it. He was walking much too fast to just “have a meeting” and Adam knew how surgeons, and docs in general, felt about meeting with administration. Obviously, this had nothing to do with the absolute bombshell of their last case. They walked in silence to the elevator but as soon as the doors closed, Dr. Crowley threatened, “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will end your career. If you’re cool, I’ll be the best attending you’ll ever have. Do we understand each other?” Adam couldn’t believe he was about to get the surgery role model he needed through, blackmail? It all seemed too easy. So he shook Dr. Crowley’s hand and down they rode in silence once again. 

***

“State University Teaching Hospital, operator speaking, how may I direct your call?” “Yes, I need to speak to Dr. Pulsifer, he’s a radiology resident.” “One moment please!”

Anathema clung to the phone inside OR 3 as she supervised the final closure of the case. Her attending, Dr. Fell, had long since left the operating room, muttering some excuse. Truth was, she didn’t care what his excuse was; he had acted like an ass, and she needed to talk to someone about it. 

Her  fiancé , Newton Pulsifer, was a third-year radiology resident at SUTH. They had grown together during medical school, but the ability to share residency-level drama had turned them into a power couple to be reckoned with. Both were excellent physicians; Newt was simply not allowed to touch his most precious imaging technology, as he had an impressive streak of breaking million-dollar MRI machines. He wasn’t even allowed to help Anathema practice her ultrasound technique, as he had been the culprit in at least three of the department’s broken ultrasound probes as well. After the final incident, he simply stayed off the Labor & Delivery floor and was banished to the basement with the other radiologists.

“Hello love!” he answered cheerfully, fully expecting Anathema to have good news. He knew she was working with her favorite attending today, and she was usually in good spirits most Mondays. “Cafe. Now. You’re buying.” Dial tone. Well, at least Dr. Shadwell wouldn’t mind.

***

“Well, well, if it isn’t the famous Dr. Crowley. I’ve heard so much,” a strikingly handsome man said with a smile as he extended his hand in Dr. Crowley’s direction. Dr. Crowley blinked. He took it apprehensively and was greeted with the most aggressive handshake he’d ever received. And he’d shaken  _ many _ hands. “And you are?” he asked through gritted teeth, not even attempting to hide his contempt. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you knew, I’m Dr. Gabriel Archangel. Director of emergency services here at State. Not easy running a Level 1 trauma center, but hey, someone’s gotta do it!” he gloated, followed with a flashing grin. “No, I’d imagine not.” Dr. Crowley retorted, “Where is Dr. Zebub? I’d like to have this meeting before I’m paged again. Or at the very least attempt to do some teaching.” He gestured to Adam, who was doing his best to disappear behind a portable computer station. “Hello,” he waved sheepishly to Dr. Archangel as he stepped slightly away from the computer terminal. “Looks like he’d make a better scribe than student; too at home behind the computer, that one,” Gabriel said, low enough so that surrounding staff did not hear but definitely loud enough so that Adam did hear. Adam’s face flushed and he looked down; he’d only been trying to give the two of them a bit of privacy for their meeting. “Excuse me, if there is something that you need to say to my stude-” Dr. Crowley began, voice decibels louder than Dr. Archangel’s had been, poised to cause a full-on scene in the emergency department. Except, he’d felt the need to shut up immediately as a pair of small, dark eyes began to stare him down from across the room. 

Dr. BL Zebub, just B to their few friends, was barely 5 feet tall and their petite frame swam in the extra-small scrubs provided by the hospital. This is why they preferred business casual days. Unfortunately for everyone, they’d been slated to operate today. Luckily for everyone, it was only two cases, as Dr. Zebub was a colorectal surgeon. Two cases, a meeting, consults, and then they were free. Except this meeting was going to be hell. 

“Dr. Crowley! Is there something that I can help you with?” they hissed in the direction of Anthony and, of course, Gabriel. Dr. Zebub rolled their eyes and sighed. Leave it to Dr. Archangel to piss off the new trauma surgeon on day one. “He insulted my student!” Dr. Crowley pointed an accusatory finger in the direction of Dr. Archangel. “What are we, twelve?” Gabriel replied as he shoved Anthony’s arm down. Patients were beginning to look in their general direction. “Talk a walk Dr. Archangel, Dr. Crowley and I need to head upstairs anyway,” Dr. Zebub ordered. The two surgeons took off, student trailing in their wake.

“I certainly hope to expect more mature behavior out of you Dr. Crowley!” Dr. Zebub seethed as soon as the elevator doors closed, “Dr. Archangel and I will have a similar discussion.” They answered as they saw the indignant look in Anthony’s eyes. The elevator dinged as they reached the surgical area. “Right well, as surgical chair I’m required to give you a ‘tour’ but seems you already know the place well enough,” they began the walk-and-talk. “I prefer to explore as I go anyway,” Anthony retorted. “Great. Well. Welcome to State University Teaching Hospital. Don’t kill your patients, it’ll fuck up my statistics. Good afternoon.”

***

“Yeah. Crowley, I was paged. What’s up?” 

“Hi Anthony.” Dr. Crowley sat immediately upright, as if a bolt of lightning had hit him. “Hello Dr. Fell,” he replied coolly, still not ready to face Ezra even though he had actually had a fairly light day after the morning’s fiasco. “Anthony, please, we may not be friends right now but it is absurd that you refer to me as Dr. Fell. Half of my residents call me Ezra.” Dr. Crowley was poised to launch into an argument about how it was none of Ezra’s damn business who he considered a friend, but after taking a beat to consider it, simply stated, “Fine,  _ Ezra _ , I suppose I should meet you somewhere for dinner? Please, not the surgeon’s lounge, I’ve been here all day.” 

“Still can’t believe you suggested the oncology unit,” Crowley said quietly as he tucked into the Indian take out that Ezra had brought. “Still can’t believe you’re not a pediatric surgeon,” Ezra said and looked Anthony dead in the eyes. His fork clattered to the plate as Anthony stood abruptly, “I have to go,” he said quickly. “Wait!” Ezra shouted after him, blindly reaching out to grasp at whatever part of Anthony he could reach, hoping that he hadn’t permanently squashed whatever small hope had begun to build inside him that he could be friends with Anthony again. Ezra’s hand managed to find Anthony’s as he asked what he’d been dying to ask all day, “Anthony, what happened?”

Dr. Crowley sighed. The kind that felt like it took years to get out, but necessary to get off his chest. All of the hot air he wished he could scream at Ezra for asking such a stupid question. Though of course there was no way for him to know unless Anthony told him. “I, uh, matched to a fellowship down south,” he started, unsure if he wanted to finish his story. He’d forgotten how zealous Ezra had been. As Ezra leaned in to hear more, his St. Luke medallion fell out of the neckline of his scrubs. Yet another reminder for Anthony of the divide in their mutual past. 

And yet, here was Ezra’s face, intent to listen to what had happened to him. So he continued, “I matched to peds surg at a hospital called St. Raphael’s. Catholic. Pretty strict. But the program was amazing. So I moved there as soon as I was done with residency and I was ready to get that couple years done, easy, no big deal.” He tried not to talk surgical stats too much, though truth be told, he was the cream of the crop at the end of his residency. “I made one mistake, Ezra, just one. I had the audacity to date a man in public. We held hands.” At this, Ezra’s face fell; his own shame cast a long shadow. “The program director for the general surgery residency was there, saw us, ratted me out to my boss, and it was strongly suggested that I leave the program. Technically, I wasn’t fired, but I knew I was no longer welcome. And I didn’t even sleep with the guy!” he yelped, hands balled into fists. He took a deep breath, relaxed, and then continued on, “So yeah, I came home jobless, tail between my legs, back to Tadfield. They gave me what they had, which at the time was trauma, and I grew into it. Haven’t looked back since.”

By this time, Ezra was softly crying across the cold nurses’ lounge table. His left hand was grasped around the amulet around his neck, halfway ready to rip it off his neck and yet almost reverently still. Right hand again reaching blindly as he grasped for anything that might be Anthony. It landed gracefully, dead center in the middle of Anthony’s nearly finished chickpea curry, smashing it to bits. “Thanks for the hummus, dear, but that isn’t what I ordered,” Anthony said, with the smallest bit of a smile. Ezra took a look at his hand, horrified expression on his face. But Anthony simply took a bit of pita bread, wiped Ezra’s hand, and popped it in his mouth. Ezra’s face twisted. “Anthony, we’re doctors, in a hospital, that’s vile.” Dr. Crowley simply smiled back, repeated his action, and said with his mouth full, “Iff got good immun sfstmm.” “Yes, I’m quite sure you do.”

***

“He just seemed so… distracted,” Anathema said, as she tucked into her salad, “I wish he would tell me what really happened with him and Dr. Crowley. I thought maybe he might, before we got paged, but he definitely won’t after that whole fiasco.” 

  
Newton simply nodded and listened as his  fiancée  vented her troubles to him. He was used to and quite enjoyed their hospital lunches, dinners, or meals at random hours. Anathema talked and he listened. He could listen to her for hours. “Just tell him you’re here for him,” Newt replied before having a bite of his sandwich. That was always good advice, couldn’t go wrong there. She glared at him. “It’s so much more complicated than that. You weren’t there. I should talk to Dr. Crowley’s med student. He’ll understand.” “Yeah, sounds like a good plan love, wait, why?” Newt’s brain caught up to his mouth. “I wanna help them get back together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is un-beta'd. My lovely former beta Caitlin is also in grad school and is too overwhelmed to take on this as well as her own projects. If you are interested, please PM me over on [tumblr](https://bjsforgordan.tumblr.com/). Thanks! :)


End file.
